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OK, so I'm a married guy, 55 years old...and here is my story:
I spent a lifetime staying married to someone I loved, didn't love, pretended to love, all for the sake of peace, etc...and for what? Now I'm not even sure myself...the sad thing is, she really believes that there is nothing wrong. I spent a lifetime, isolating my real feelings and basiy being "lonely but never alone" so much so, that I've become accustomed to spending every evening in separate rooms...Oh, we still share the same bed, and if you would have asked me if there was such a thing as a "sexless marriage", I would have told you that you were full of shit, but after only having sex once in the last year and a half, I would say that it's true, you can have a sexless marriage...blame menopause, blame my work schedule, blame whatever...but it's very hurtful when the one you want, doesn't show any interest at all. I've suggested hormone therapy and marriage counseling...even psychotherapy, but it's like talking to a ghost...
I basiy stayed glued to her because of my sons, who are all grown and moved out now...I know what you're thinking, it's a classic story right?...And I thought about leaving her, but her vulnerability is what has kept me here...She's always led me to believe that she'd be helpless without me...I couldn't live with the guilt if she crumbled under the weight of life...I hate myself most of the time, and loathe her for making me like this...and YET, I know I'll NEVER leave her...I want to believe that the 16 year old I thought I loved is in there, and she'll come back, and in a few minutes, I'll ask myself just who do I think I'm fooling.
If any of this makes sense to you, and you'd just like to talk about it, or me, or whatever...please feel free to write me...and no, I'm not looking for sex or an affair, just a friend.